Today weather channel, CNN and every media outlet in the US, reported that this homeowner, not yet recovered from the earthquake earlier this week, was unable to get in their yard to pick up this chair because it was raining.
President Obama, homeland security secretary Janet Napolitana, NJ governor Chris Christie, and every other politician east of the Mississippi, all of whom earlier had jumped on tv to help alarm the public and ensure they were perceived to be concerned and proactive, announced that due to the heroic efforts of government officials and first responders, Megan, Brian, and Jake, could plan on enjoying their vacation at LBI later this week. CNN announced that Dr. Sanjiv Gupta could stop standing out in the rain reporting on the adverse medical outcomes to be expected from drowning or having trees fall on your house, and go back to reporting on diabetes and childhood obesity. Anderson Cooper, having bravely risked disheveled hair for the past two days, is reported to be suffering from exhaustion having tried to find any of his correspondents with anything interesting to say, or any way to make video of red jackets wearing rubber boots standing in puddles interesting. Wilf Blitzer is reported to have said it looks good on him, and that he has a great story with Michelle Buchman explaining how this is all the Democrats fault, when he can get airtime. According to the Weather Channel, their PhD meteorologists and hurricane experts, exhausted from 48 hours of trying to find ways to keep the sense of panic forefront in the public’s mind while Irene weakened, can now take a well deserved rest, a job well done having achieved a record spike in their Nielsen ratings. Media employees and politicians, having saved us from the national catastrophe they created, can now also get a brief rest before we start the blame game, and while hurricane Jose forms in the gulf. Really? Once again we get what we deserve. This will have been a tragedy for some unfortunate people, and the rest of us who have lived through this latest media assault will be a little more ambivalent next time. Like tomorrow.-
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